A bite of my cookie

This blog is my blog.  It is my mommy space that I get to have to share about how things are going behind the scenes homeschooling four children with a tyrannical toddler in tow.  It is the place where I can share funny anecdotes, rant about various subjects, and admit freely that I lie to my kids about movie due dates when we rent them so I don't have to listen to the same movie on a non stop loop.

In case it is early morning, late night, or you haven't had the right amount of coffee in your blood to function yet, the number of children that are practicing diplomacy and hostile take over tactics alternating equals five.  Three girls, two boys, ages ranging from 14 to 1.  If you ever thought that having teenagers and toddlers at the same time sounded like a good way to keep entertained...you would be right.  But only if your entertainment tastes run along the same lines as extreme sports.  You sky jumped over the desert - I nursed a baby velociraptor while simultaneously teaching Algebra, listening to Ramona be read out loud, and tracing alphabet letters in multi colored salt.

I often feel like I am an anomaly in the mothering world.  I am a crunchy momma, well almost.  Sometimes.  I would really really like to be, and I try real hard. I baby wear, co-sleep, use cloth diapers on occasion (when they are clean and I remember where they are and don't have any place to go where bodily fluids are not part of the accepted attire), practice "extended breastfeeding" and home school. I stare longingly at the organic products in the grocery isles, or even the wholesome middle of the road whole grain ones, but always end up buying the generic cheap orange death in a box and the nitrate laden hot dogs because my kids eat them and I live on a budget that laughs at me. Oh how I would like to be able to boast how my children drink the mysterious "green drink" and have it not be kool - aid.  I would love to be able to swap tales of how my children spent all day playing peacefully with nut shells and pine needles instead of alternating between watching tv and reenacting an alarmingly realistic version of Lord of the Flies. I would also really like to be tall, thin, and in my early twenties again, but then I remember that heels hurt my feet and wearing them puts my life in jeopardy with small children running about. Going to the gym takes time, money, and more energy than I have had in the past four years put together. I also spent a lot of my early twenties flat broke without a car. Hmm, maybe I don't want to go back quite that far. So I may be a granola bar, but I am the kind that has chocolate chips, icing, and possibly, depending on the day, sprinkles.